Tasty Time in Thailand

Burst of color in JD's Garden Restaurant

Tonight I outdid myself in the kitchen. I created this unique, healthy dish, and it turned out so good, I decided to write it down and share it with you. I could probably lose more weight if I didn't like my own cooking so much. High-society calls this "Fusion Cuisine," in East meets West. I call it "Time-To-Use-Everything-In-The-Fridge-Night."

Thai-Polynesian-French Chicken Over Rice
(Or, "Around the World Chicken")

Ingredients

1 tbsp fresh black pepper (unground, still green)
2 large cloves, fresh garlic
1 leaf Thai herb (your choice)
1 orange, peeled, cut into 1/2 segments (the Polynesian part)
1 cup cubed fresh pineapple (the Polynesian part)
1/4 tsp cinnamon (the Polynesian part, optional)
1 diced tomato (optional)
1 diced onion
1 chicken leg, 1 chicken thigh
2 cups cooked rice
1 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp oyster sauce (the Thai part)
1/3 cup red wine (the French part)

Steps:


1. Start rice in a rice cooker
2. In a mill or blender, finely chop garlic, fresh black pepper and Thai herb; set aside
3. Put a teaspoon of the garlic/pepper/herb mixture in a skillet with ollive oil and heat just before oil smokes. In this mixture, brown both sides of chicken
4. Remove chicken and saute onion in chicken drippings and olive oil
5. Put chicken in microwave for 2-3 minutes to insure the inside is cooked thoroughly
6. Combine chicken with pineapple, sauteed onion, orange, and rest of garlic/black pepper/Thai herb mixture in skillet and simmer on low.
7. After 5 minutes add red wine and oyster sauce.
8. Simmer for 15 more minutes. Just before turning off heat, add diced tomato (optional).
9. Serve chicken and sauce mixture over rice.

Best served hot on a picnic table right outside your kitchen door amidst tropical flowers blooming in your garden in January (picture from my garden). Makes enough for two. Call up a skinny Thai student or teacher to share with you. However, be prepared for a mild complaint about combining sweet tastes with chicken--until they try it. Then, you'll have to pull 'em off of it to get your share.

Toughing it out in Thailand,
JD

Thailand and Cambodia Teeter On War

When troubles erupt in Bangkok (protests, coups, etc.) I often jokingly complain that "nothing ever happens in Isaan," Thailand's laid-back Northeast.

Well, I lied.

After months of standoffs and skirmishes at a flashpoint on the Thai-Cambodian border (about three hours' drive from my town), Thai troops moved in closer to a position held by Cambodian soldiers. As a result, the Prime Minister of Cambodia yesterday rattled his saber, and declared there would be full-scale war if Thailand didn't withdraw its troops from the disputed territory. The deadline was noon yesterday. Apparently, the withdrawal didn't happen and fighting broke out today.

The territory involves a pitiful little patch of 1.8 square miles. The disputed area, near an ancient temple ruin, "Khao Phra Vihan" (or "Preah Vihear" in Cambodian) is comprised of what looks like burnt rock and dead scrub brush on a high, dry, exposed ridge. The BBC , calls it "scrub land." Quite fitting. See my photo below (taken about 2 years ago).


What really is at stake is national pride fueled by a super-heated nationalism on both sides.

Thailand is upset that Cambodia pushed for the temple ruin itself to become a UN World Heritage Site. Indeed, after you walk a mile or so through the miserable scrub land, you come to the edge of an escarpment on which sets a spectatular 1,000 year-old temple ruin. Thailand controled the temple itself until 1962 when the World Court awarded control to Cambodia. However, the exact demarcation lines were left somewhat vague--hence, the ongoing tensions.


Cambodia is hanging onto what they feel is their national pride as well. Until the tensions heated up this year, about 90% of the tourists at Preah Vihear were Thai. One of the first signs that greeted them on the temple grounds was this....


On the sign, "Khmer" is the word Cambodians use when referring to themselves. In fact, the ancient Cambodian empire which built Preah Vihear was called the "Khmer Empire."

So, as usual, seldom is a spat a one-sided affair. It takes two to tango (or tangle, however the proverb goes).

So, I take it back. Sometimes things do happen in Isaan. The last excitement we had in our area was in the 1970's when these jungles were the refuge of many a Communist rebel--some of them fathers and grandfathers of my students! Just a generation or so ago, they were fighting the central Thai government.

So, anyone looking for a laid-back utopian paradise where everyone and every thing is at peace? I thought maybe it was spelled "I-S-A-A-N." I guess it's time to revert back to the original spelling: "H-E-A-V-E-N."

Advice from a Watch Expert....

I bought a cheap "utility" watch in Pratunam (a low-end outdoor market in Bangkok) last month. I proudly put my cheap bargain on my wrist, took two steps and heard "clink." The glass crystal fell to the sidewalk.

My thoughts: "It's Thailand, and no one ever takes anything back, especially a cheap watch. I'm screwed (again)."

My Thai shopping friend and a couple vendors standing around encouraged me to take the two steps backward and return it to the sales lady. I handed her the watch and crystal separately and waited for her response, which was...(with a straight face)...

"This kind of watch doesn't need a crystal."

She wrapped the crystal in a tissue, put it in a bag, and handed it back to me with the now bare-faced watch. My Thai shopping companion gave me that typical look often given to red-faced foreigners that said "Please, don't create a scene."

So now, I change the time by moving the watch hands with my fingers, just like I did on the big grandfather clock at Grandma's house. I try to keep it out of the rain, and I also cover it with my hand when someone sneezes. A month later, it's still running, and I think I'm now making a fashion statement with it. When people ask about it, I tell them I bought a special watch that offers a "tactile experience," and then I feel the bare face and hands like a blind person trying to tell the time.

I give the Thai sales "expert" one point for quick thinking.
Score: One for her. Zero for me.

UPDATE: August 2009. Unbelievably, the watch is still running. I have stumbled onto a new secret to keep watches running in Thailand: fresh air!

Driving me Batty.....

While jogging at the soccer field tonight at twilight I was suddenly engulfed by a swarm of several hundred bats chasing insects.

Thanks to their excellent radar bouncing their funny little squeaky sounds off my body, I didn't get thumped in the forehead by the proverbial Bat out of Pergatory with an errant flight plan, like I fully expected to.

Very weird experience.

Just when things settle down to normal I have one of these tropical experiences that reminds me I'm not in Kansas/Washington anymore.

The Long Arm of the Law

I wouldn't have believed it unless I had seen it.

Yesterday, as I was motorcycling my way to the school fitness center for my daily exercise, I noticed two sets of travelers ahead, also going the same direction as I. Nearest me were two policemen on a motorcycle. In Thailand, the police have to buy their own motorcycles, so it's not unusual to see a couple cops doubling up on one bike. About 50 feet ahead of them was a full-sized Asian elephant lumbering along with two mahouts (elephant trainers) astride its back.

The police were slowly following the elephant and its riders, which seemed a bit suspicious. The ridiculous thought crossed my mind, "Wouldn't it be funny about now, to see the red lights flashing, hear the siren, and see the cops perform a traffic stop?" No sooner had the through crossed my mind, and that's exactly what happened.

Siren blaring, red lights, a wave of the hands, and the lumbering four-footed vehicle came to a dead stop, trunk waving in the air, ears flapping the flies away. As I blew by them on my own bike, I looked in the rear view mirror, and the policemen were dismounting their cycle with stern looks, ticket book in hand. The mahouts had that guilty look like they had just run a red light.


Of course, I didn't stop to listen in on the conversation, but a few more scenarios crossed my mind during my subsequent work-out session:

• "Ah, sirs can we see your Mahout's license please?"
  
  
• "Elephant vehicle registration, please? We have reports of a stolen elephant."
  
  
• "Are you aware that you are not traveling in the "Elephants Only" lane?"
  
  
• "Your elephant has a tail light out. "
  
  
• "You've got a broken tusk, here's a warning ticket. Get it fixed at the next vet's shop."
  
  
• "You were going under the minimum speed limit."
  
  
• "Did you see the "Hospital Zone--Quiet! No Trumpeting!" sign back there?
  
  
• "Would you jump down for a sobriety test, please? Oh, you haven't had anything to drink? OK, how much lemon grass has your elephant been grazing on today? He was definitely staggering. Would you ask him to put the end of his trunk on this breathing device and blow?"
  
  
• "We're lost. Are you guys from around here? We're looking for the nearest donut shop."
  
  
  All in a normal day in Thailand.
  
  And the adventure goes on...
  
  JD
  

Window Dressings

Room with a view...and a zoo.

I opened my bedroom window yesterday morning only to be greeted by a small snake wound around the security grate and climbing vines. Up to now, a variety of birds, insects, and lizards have been the usual characters to take up residence at my window. But this reptile was different: about 1/4 meter (8-10 inches) long, with very distinctive white coloring with black stripes or bands running around it's head and girth. I usually don't think of snakes as beautiful, but this one came close with it's pure white skin and delicate thin black bands. For lack of a name, I dubbed my new resident the "zebra snake."

It was quite shy, and after taking a brief look at me, disappeared in a niche between the window and the frame (slight shudder: did that niche connect to inside the house somewhere?).

This morning before school, my friend, Au, stopped by to say "hello" (OK, to say "Sawadee khrap"). Au teaches fourth grade students at the local elementary school, and is quite limited in his English. I described my little zebra snake in detail to him (yeah, I know my colors and shapes in the Thai tongue by now).

I waited a full minute while he searched his data bank for the proper English words, and then gave up in exasperation. OK, looks like I was to get the dramatic version: He bugged his eyes, grabbed his throat, rolled his eyes back into his head, staggered backwards until he fell onto the sofa, then kicked his legs, and flailed his arms like in an epileptic seizure. Finally, he went limp with his tongue hanging out.

I clapped in appreciation. Bravo! What a show! Mission accomplished, Au jumped up and took his bow with a smile of satisfaction.

Wonder what he was trying to say?