Through Thai Eyes - IV

Dear Teacher,

Yesterday, we were invited to have a dinner with our bosses in Culpaper, a city next to Washington VA. And what we considered excellent was, it's a Thai resteraunt!!! So great! We hope that this dinner would make us get better from being bored of the food in our canteen so much. You know?, we have like sometimes fried fish, or chinken, sometimes roasted pork or beef, or something like that for our meals. I don't know why don't they sometime cook the food in soup for us. Yes, I really miss all kinds of Kaeng -- Thai hot and spicy soup/curry. So, that's what we expected.... to have for our dinner at that resteraunt.

As soon as we were seated, we immediately ordered what we thought they would full-fill our passion by ourselve, and ordered some food that we figured they're the delicious dishes of Thailand for the bossess. What we got were like Ka Prao Kai, Kaeng Khiaw Wann, Stired Fried Mixed Vegetable, Pad Thai and the outstanding dish ... Tom Yam Kung!

Ka Prao Kai, Kaeng Khiaw Wann, Stired Fried Mixed Vegetable and Pad Thai were pretty good despite the recipes were pretty different from real Thai's ones. However, it's pretty OK. And I was so delighted as well that I could have Prik Nam Pla -- sliced fresh Thai chilli in fish sauce -- as the seasoning for my meal, because at my canteen there's just something like big sweet chilli available there. I/We don't like this chilli at all.

I'm just afriad if the farang tried this Tom Yam Kung and would say "I don\'t think it\'s the most delicious food of Thailand as the entire world talks about." Anyway, I hope other resteraunts in other cities in the USA would be sure of their Tom Yam Kung\'s quality and taste before putting it on the list of their menu. I just want the renown of this dish keeps go on. And I do hope your family had tried the right Tom Yam Kung and are fond of this attractive food looks like nothing interesting in this email. Sounds like I'm complaining rather than discussing the interesting matter with you like always, doesn't it? However, there are many things left to talk with you, my professional teacher. See you next " Chapter "

But, what we found unpleasant was... Tom Yam Khung !!! It didn't represent what we had boasted about its renown to our bosses at all. It appeared like .... six sinked prawns in that clear and sour soup with just a few sliced tomatoes and farang mushrooms floating on above. Its taste was not delicious and, sure, extremely different from the original one! I know that it's hard to get complete recipes (from Thailand) to achieve the dish, but as they can't make the original-like taste, the shouldn't put this kind of Thai food in their menu,right? I'm just afriad if the farang tried this Tom Yam Kung and would say "I don't think it's the most delicious food of Thailand as the entire world talks about."

Anyway, I hope other restarants in other cities in the USA would be sure of their Tom Yam Kung's quality and taste before putting it on the list of their menu. I just want the renown of this dish keeps go on. And I do hope your family had tried the right Tom Yam Kung and are fond of this actractive food!

Looks like nothing interesting in this email. Sounds like I'm complaining rather than discussing the interesting matter with you like always, doesn't it? However, there are many things left to talk with you, my teacher. See you next "chapter."

Your Student

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Dear Student,

Your hard-working teacher is now taking a short break from volleyball at the beach, jungle hiking, snorkeling, and swimming on Koh Lanta during my vacation to check my email. How nice to see your new mail!

I laugh at your experience, because food is so close to our longing for things familiar. I have to relate to you some similar funny situations. For example, when I travel and stay in hotels in Asia, I see advertised "American Breakfast included in room charge!" As I lick my lips, I think, "Oh boy, something familiar!" All night long in my hotel room, my hungry tummy wakes me up and reminds me about that wonderful American Breakfast which will greet me in the morning. The appointed hour comes and I arrive at the breakfast buffet table: cabbage with dressing, short grilled hot dogs, cucumbers, grilled tomatoes, salty orange juice, toast (toasted on only one side) with no butter, and corn salad. I have NEVER seen any of these things in an American breakfast in America! So, I gave up on hotel American Breakfasts long ago.

Then, I go to Seven-Eleven to get a good old American hamburger: I ask for a "hamburger" and get a piece of dried chicken on a bun with tomato-paste & mayonnaise sauce on top. Ugh! Never seen a hamburger like that! "Chicken-burger" is more like it.

So, I then stop at the ice cream shop for a scoop of that wonderful creamy vanilla. They open a hot dog bun, put a scoop of vanilla ice cream in the middle of it, then sprinkle the whole thing with corn and hand it to me with a smile, like I'm supposed to eat it. Unbelievable!

Lastly, I go over to House of Pizza for a good old Hawaiian pizza. Ever had a pizza without cheese? Well, order any pizza on the menu there, and that's what you get. Unthinkable to a westerner! However, the large number of Thai customers who are always there tells me that it pleases someone!

So based on your and my experiences, all I can say is: so sorry, my student, you'll just have to come back to Thailand for your authentic Tom Yum Goong! I tell you what, I just had the best Tom Yum Goong in Thailand last night here in Ko Lanta--ah, big fat juicy shrimp and fresh Thai herb-spices swimming in creamy coconut juice. Oh, so-o-o-o-o good! Making you homesick? I just want to make sure I see you in class in a couple months! Just in case my teaching doesn't bring you back, at least the Tom Yum Goong will lure you back to our beloved university.

Hurry back. Classes start in 45 days. A steaming bowl of Tom Yum Goong is waiting for you!

Your Teacher

Through Thai Eyes - III

Dear Teacher,

I've finally found a library providing free internet for the people already. Thank you for your advice on this matter. By the way, it' takes about five minutes by bike to get there. It's a very good one, named Rappahannock County Library. Do you think "Rappahannock" sounds strange? I feel like it's not English word. Do you?

It now keeps raining every day here. Actaully I love rain, but the rain here always gets the weather even colder. Somestimes, this atmosphere makes me don't even want to leave my bed for work earlier like always. Oh!, god, I'd be fired soon !!!

However, I'd like to tell you what I've seen THROUGH MY OWN EYES (as you said) to you during I'm staying here. These are some what I experienced:

>> Do you think that the greeting sentence like "How are you" is dying
out? Because the people here greet like

• "How are you doing?"
• "How's going on?"
• "What's going on?"
• "What's news?"
• "What's up!"
• "Zup man!"

...or something like that. Then I think you'd feel boring since we just greet you like "How are you" !!!

>> I saw many American put their names on the car plates. And they said it's legal to do so. Therefore I think you must have put "D___" on each car plate of your family's, don't you? Sounds COOL!

>> I noticed that the light of each American's house is orange, you know what I mean? It's different from our home's (in Thailand). I don't know why don't they use the white light like we do for our home, because I consider our light is clearer and brighter than theirs. Or,maybe, this light looks light the color of fire that make them feel warm, I suppose.

But anyway, I prefer

the white one.

>> I saw the wild animals--rabbits and squirrels are often seen--appearing indepently in the backyard, on the road side or in the forest next to the house, without being harmed by the people even in daytime! If they were in Thailand (and even in my hometown), they should have been killed and become the food for our meals! I absolutely love the way the foriegners treat those wild animals.

These are some new experience I gain. And sure, with the culture, tradition, geography, thoughts, lifestyle etc. that differ from mine, I think I'll have a lot of things to discuss with you more on, my teacher.

Thank you so much for welcoming my mails and not getting annoyed (or not?!?) by them.

Your student.

p.s. Do you really understand what I said? Coz I've noticed that if I read English mails of my friends, I 100% understand. But when I read yours, my perception is just 85-90 %. And to make it worst, I don't understand what they say in many magazines by American at all!

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My Dear Student,

Hey, I LOVE getting your emails! I am sharing them with my friends and family, and they love them too. In fact, your wonderful insights "Through Thai Eyes" are being read by my friends in over 20 foreign countries (including the USA). I'll explain when you get back. Keep it up.

You're right, the name of that county is not English. Probably not even Isan-Lao! I would say American Indian. So, if you can learn to pronounce some of those county and river names in Virginia, we'll call you "quadrilingual," ok?

Greetings: I think most Americans like to be a little bit unique in their greetings, and they hope it reflects their personalities. So a banker probably would not say "Zup man!" and a skateboarder probably would not say, "Good morning, isnt' the weather today indeed delightful?"

Names on license plates: Yes, it's very much enjoyed by Americans who have an extra $35 to $50 to spend for the higher fee! When I was home, I didn't have my name on my plate so that in case I accidentally did something rude in my driving, they could not identify me!

House lights: Hmmm. If it's the outside porch light you are looking at, it is probably a light that does not attract insects. You know how flying insects like to swarm around the bright fluorescent (some call "neon" or "tube") lights at restaurants and vendor carts in Isan? Last night, I had three flying termites land in my Tom Yum Goong at the local restaurant. They were going for the bright lights, but missed. I think you'll notice they don't go after the orange lights.

However, you bring up something else that I also notice--the big cultural difference about lights in homes. We Americans generally think of bright fluorescent lights as too bright and harsh on our eyes in certain living spaces in a home. Therefore, we will only use fluorescent lights in places like the kitchen or utility rooms which need a bright light for work-related activities (washing, cooking, cleaning, ironing clothes, etc.). Generally, we don't like to use them in our bedrooms, living rooms or other more relaxed rooms in the house.

It was so hard for me to get used to fluorescent lights inside homes and apartments when I came to Thailand. When I first moved into my new apartment, I bought all table lamps with soft-colored incandescent light bulbs. When my Thai friends came to visit, they immediately turned on the glaring overhead lights with the comment, "Ugh! Why is it SO DARK in here?!!" As I turned them back off, I would reply, "It's NOT dark--it's soft and warm!" The battle went on--off on off on off--accompanied by much joking.

Wild animals. I always laughed at my Thai-Isan friends. Whenever we were in the jungle or a park and they saw a wild animal, their first comment was always about whether it tasted good or not. "See that lizard over there? Ah, 'arroy mak!' " (very delicious). See those big insects? Very tasty when roasted over a fire!" "See that big frog? Worthless! You can't eat that kind." Now I find myself always asking my friends: "What is that animal over there? Do you eat it too? Is it delicious?" I'm afraid that if I came back to America and started asking those questions, they would immediately take me to a big buffet-style restaurant, thinking I was starving to death!

I look forward to your next "chapter," seeing my home country through your eyes. When you come back to Isan, I will share with you a place where you can read about your home country through MY eyes. You have a real surprise waiting for you.

Your Teacher

P.S. By the way, I am glad you are at an 85-90% understanding of my emails--that means I am challenging you!. And yes, I understand yours, 98-100%. Excellent writing. (You must have had a wonderful, talented instructor for "Basic Composition and Writing!" Didn't you get a B+ in that course?).

Through Thai Eyes - II

Another gem from our student working in the USA (see earlier blog, "Through Thai Eyes")...

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Dear Teacher,

The spring has come now; thus I won't meet the snow at all. What a pity! Moreover, the weather seems to be a little more like Thailand's. It's very hot in the after noon, but still cold in the evening. However, it's nice for not remaining hot all day.

Yesterday, I lost 9 dollars (360 baht) !!! Because there's nobody telling us prior to set the time 1 hour earlier then always. Because of it is the SPRING !!!

We didn't know about this matter before. So when I clocked-in to work, I was very frightened if there's any things wrong with the clock-in system. Then when we went up to our office, we discovered that there were plenty of Housekeeping Crews there already!!! We so much wondered why the farang crews clocked-in earlier, despite it shoud be us who always clock-in five minutes prior !!!

But after HSKP Manager informed us about this USA's proceture, we immediately knew that we lost nine dollars this day. What a pity.

By the way, April Fool's Day has gone. At first, I thought it would be the very fun day, but nothing much they did with the lie. How about you? How many VICTIMS you got that Day?

Anyway, hope you'll enjoy this comming festival, Song Kran. Break a leg, my teacher !


Your student

C

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Dear C,

Hey, great to get your email again. Ah, weather just like home--but the clock keeps changing on you. Oops, forgot to tell you about that little Creature of Time we call "Daylight Savings Time". Crazy Americans think they can do more things in 24 hours if they move the clock backwards and forwards during the year.

April Fool's Day in Thailand? YES, it happened! I was tricked. I logged onto two of my favorite Thai websites: www.thaivisa.com and www.2bangkok.com They both had fake news stories. One story was about a train in Phuket having an accident. I'm going to Phuket next week for Songkran, and I was a little concerned (although I will be flying). Phuket Island doesn't even have a railroad! So April Fool's Day even reaches out to us unsuspecting farangs in Thailand, too. Caught like a rat in a trap.

I bet you will have the driest Songkran of your life, this year. Happy Thai New Year, anyway!

Your Teacher,
Aj. J

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LINK: Time chaos as Daylight Savings Time (DST) arrived in Thailand Tuesday (Dated: April 1, 2003)

Through Thai Eyes - I

One of the very enjoyable experiences of teaching here in Thailand is seeing your home country through their eyes. This year we sent about 50 of our English-major students to the USA for summer work. Remember, summer in Thailand is March-April-May, so right now these students are scattered all over the USA from Hawaii to Florida. I always wait in eager anticipation to get those first emails, and I share one with you (warts and all!) I just received this morning, along with my reply.

Pardon the student's vocabulary choice for "cigarette butts." We have more work to do with him when he gets home!

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Dear Teacher,

First of all, I'd like to apologize for not able to keep in touch with you as often as I've told you before, because there's no computer or even the telephone in our dormitory. The telephone box doesn't present in our site as well. Each time I need to use the computer, I have to go to our boss' office where many people are seriusly dealing with their works there. Therefore, I don't want to do like that so often. Although our boss will move us to the another better dorm where provides internet access, we don't want to move because we have to pay more money for the housing. Anyway, I will do try to keep in touch with you, my professional teacher.

Thank you for the GREAT GRADE you've given to me. It pulls up my GPAX a lot.

Here, in Virginia, is a good match for us. It's peaceful, nice environment, friendly and funny people and not crowded.

Before we came here, we had stayed in your HOME, at New Yorker Hotel, New York. We experienced many fascinating things there. The buildings are much more bigger than those ones we see in Bangkok or in our other big cities. We went to the Central Park where I have no idea that how they can put that natural park among this HUGE CITY without leaving it destroyed like the park in our home (Country). The squirrels are running all over the yard in the park without being scared of people. Moreover, we can breathe freshly in the park (or even in the city) despite we are surrounded by a large number of crowded people and cars !!! Fascinating !!!

And evenmore, I saw a young boy and girl kissing in the park ignoring the people (including me) who kept walking pass them! And the most attractive is that ... the light of the city which is very colorfull at night, especially prominantly at Time Square. We love it.

But what I consider it makes New York unpleasent is the CIGARETTE! I saw almost people (or even all) ,from the young to the old, smoking a lot. There are many cigarette asses (or cigarette filters?) in everywhere -- on the streets, in the trash cans, and almost in the DRIANS !!! It seems like the people consider smoking is as normal as drinking the pop !!!

I think European and American are on the top list of those who smoke the most. So, I wonder how do you survive from this matter, because I've never seen you smoking and appreciated it's the good of you, my kind teacher.

All in all, I LOVE AMERICA. It doesn't make me disappointed. THE POWERFUL AND MIGHTY COUNTRY.

I almost get used to with the food, the foreign accent and the weather now. And I enjoy working so much.

>>> Once in a life I experience America, it is worth my whole life... <<<>

Yours sincerely,
C

P.S. Sorry for the lenghtly mail, it's affected by the reasons
according to the very first beginning of this mail.

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Dear C,

Wow, what a great email--how interesting to see the USA through your eyes!

New York City is made up of a huge population of recent immigrants (mostly from Europe and the Mediterranean countries), so you'll see many similarities to Europe there--including the smoking (yuck). This city is soooo different from the West Coast where I live--but my impressions of New York City are about the same as yours! I do love the liveliness of the city, also.

Despite the difficulty of finding a computer, thanks for the effort to send an email. By the way, public libraries often have free email service on their computers, although you have to get a library card (free) to use one.

As to your grade, please don't thank me. YOU did all the hard work, and you earned it. There were 2 C'2, 7 C+'s, 1 B, 10 B+'s, and only 5 A's given in the class. So, consider yourself part of the privileged, elite, top 20% of the class!

Hope to hear more from you later!
Your Teacher in Thailand

It's Getting Chili in Thailand

...and we're not talking about the weather
(100+ Fahrenheit right now).

I am referring, my-about-to-be-dazzled readers, to a recent extraordinary accomplishment from a brown-thumbed gardner who has trouble growing even weeds. When I first moved to Thailand, I bought a big bag of dried chili peppers to use in my quest to learn how to cook Thai dishes. When I later learned that Thai cooking in Isan is basically any stir-fry with 50% chili peppers, I abandoned the no-challenge project. However, three years later, I pulled out this bag of chilis from the fridge vegetable bin, and inquired of my friends what to do with them. "Throw 'em in your weed-patch, and watch what happens," was their sage advice. OK, I do grow a few weeds. My weed-patch looks more like a partially balding old man with tufts of hair sprouting haphazzardly here and there.

So, I threw the dried-up, deader-'n-a-door-nail chilis out into the balding weed patch and forgot about them. In a couple months, lo and behold, I had a half-dozen chili bush babies! Amazing how becoming a father changes your perspective and you start accepting responsibility. I got serious and started watering them every day.

A month or so later, I had teenagers in the family. Hungry teenagers. This momentous event now called for fertilizer to feed my hungry charges. I asked my Thai teacher the name of a good fertilizer I could pick up at the town garden shop, and how I should ask for it. With an impatient wave of the hand, he dismissed my idea immediately. He wasn't quite sure what the best word was, but he spelled out the only one he knew in very large letters on a scrap of paper and held it up an inch from my nose: "S-H-#-T."

"Uh, you mean the kind that comes from cows?" I naively inquired, screwing up my nose.

"Yes Ajarn (Teacher) J., Do you know something better?" His tone of voice was that of a pre-school teacher lecturing her toddler. Oh, cow manure to feed my chili bushes. I remember something vaguely about that in a history book. Didn't the American Indians give the early colonists cow dung for their corn? No, that was dead fish. I was catching on to this farming-in-the-country thing quite quickly.

"Of course!" I laughed a little too loudly, "I just remember hearing something about bat manure being the best possible fertilizer, right?" Incomprehensible stare from teacher. Yes, I'm learning how to save face in Asia.

Fortunately, cows and manure are everywhere in Isan (the latter usually on the bottom of your shoes). Mission easily accomplished.

A month following, so help me, a handful (batch? gaggle?) of adult chili bushes waved in the breeze in my little makeshift haphazzard garden. I couldn't believe it--from three year old dried chilis scattered about the garden--I had a sustainable crop which commands about $1 a pound on the local market. (I'm rich! I'm rich).




The real thrill came when the peppers started appearing just a couple weeks ago...first green, then yellow, orange, and finally bright red.








Today, was the crowning glory of my agricultural career. I picked two of the most beautiful, glossy, red chili peppers I've ever seen from the top of one of my tenderly cared-for chili bushes.

[Actual photgraph of actual first two chilis from actual garden grown by actual farang appears at the top of this blog. Stamp that photo: "EVIDENCE".]

Relishing the moment, and remembering that when chilis are red, they're fairly mild, I popped a whole chili into my mouth and chomped down. Arghhh! Cough! Choke! Gag! Oh yeah, it's the COOKED red chilis that are fairly mild, I remembered too late. Seven glasses of water later, I felt I had at least gotten my money's worth (and the equivalent of a burn-tattoo on the roof of my mouth).


Perhaps your local newspaper might feature in the near future about a teacher-turned-chili-business magnate who has taken over the market of Thailand's national vegetable, the venerated chili. Remember you heard it here, first.

By the way, my first bio-engineering job after above accomplishment? Tone down that fire. Gasp.

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P.S. Pardon my over-simplification of Thai-Isan cooking. There really are some wonderful unique dishes that take some artful cooking and and involve a list of delicious ingredients. Something I have no patience for on the chef's end of things.

And You Think YOU'VE Got it Bad?

When you're sitting in stalled traffic on I-5 or I-405, just cheer yourself up by knowing it could be worse. Last December 4, 2005, Bangkok had the worst "normal"* traffic jam on record. Traffic was blocked on an "expressway" between the city and the airport. The time motorists sat in their cars without moving? Eight hours.

People ran out of gas while stalled. Other's abandoned their cars and started walking. Of course that only served to worsen the situation. Many tickets and tow trucks later, things got cleared around midnight.

A couple years ago, it took me three hours to go the eight miles from the city to the airport by bus, barely catching my flight five minutes before they shut the airplane door. Yes, I could have walked (maybe jogged) it faster.

It is common when visiting Bangkok to have your taxi driver turn off his motor in a traffic jam--often the traffic won't move for 20-30 minutes at a traffic light. That's at EVERY intersection! Of course, the taxi's meter keeps running! So, it's not unusual for me to pay my fare up to that point, get out and walk. Usually you can flag down a motorcyclist and offer him 20 baht to take you between the stalled rows of cars (praying no one decides to open their car door...). So, count your blessings!

Also, another reason I enjoy living in the "Appalachia" of Thailand--Isan--far, far from the madness!

*"normal" excludes traffic jams due to natural disasters such as hurricanes (Houston 2005), fleeing attacking Martians (New Jersey, Halloween of 1938), etc.